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I'm a Water Fountain...what are you?

You are a product.  What are you and why?  This was the question I read in a book in 2012.  Guess what...I didn’t answer it.  It went unanswered for several years.  I happened to skim over it in my journal later, several years later...I took pause.  Briefly reminiscing over why I couldn’t answer it back then.  Why I left it blank.  With a million thoughts flowing through my mind I searched my spirit to see if anything struck me now, here, today.

The question intended to get one to identify with a specific feeling one gets from a brand or a type of product.  For me, at that time, it would not have been authentic to answer that question.  Life was crazy chaos and I was just trying to hold on by my very finger nails.  I could have answered how I Wanted to be seen or what I Wanted people to believe or who I Wanted to be.  The issue, I myself didn’t believe it and I was simply trying to sort out my life so I could see clearly who I was, who I was intended to be, what I was suppose to be learning, what I was created to share authentically with others.  So, to answer such a seemingly silly and innocent question would have been a lie to myself.  Sometimes in life we are pressured to give an answer.  So we give what is expected or what is easy or we muster up one that will keep us able to slide under the radar.  Yah know what....screw the question!  Listen to you.  Listen to your insides and don’t answer so quickly.  If you are having trouble answering, there is a reason.  Stop, listen, evaluate and find grace and space to discover where you are Today!!

During that time in life I literally had to rebuild from ground Zero.  They were 5 of the most extensively devastating years of my life that reached down into all the crevices and valleys and pulled out every weakness, fear and hurt I had inside.  But, can I tell you something?  I would walk through it all again just to get to where I am today.  Let me be clear, I don’t have all I want, I am still unsure daily, I have less security than I did before, I have to constantly breath deep and quietly give up my fears and refresh my spirit to stay grounded, but I am authentically living in my vulnerability.  Real and raw, creative and inwardly lovely.  I have more love and compassion for others (as I remember when I too was a wreck and all I needed was a bit of love, grace and acceptance) I am as messy and human as it gets, but within in that I am Real.  I am Me.  I am Needed for what I offer.

...A Water fountain.  A beautiful outdoor water fountain.  That is what I would be TODAY.  One that needs to be immersed in nature, experiencing the glories of sunshine, snow, brilliant creature sounds, the excitement of the changing of seasons and the ebb and flow of God’s unpredictable Glory.  I use to hate not being in control.  I now am grateful I don’t have to be, because I can make a way bigger mess when I think I have it all covered.  I want to flow in my life, bring life and refreshment to those around me.  No filter...I want to be naturally impure and human and stand in the creativity that comes with the mix of all that I am and all that I contain.  I need the freedom to flow and change, sometimes with power and distinct direction, other times soft, quiet, healing or resting.

Ask me next week and I may do a wonder twin power change into an ice blue, convertible Maserati. For today, I’m taking in all the elements of where I am for This moment! I love and support you!  So, what are you, in THIS season of your life and why? xoxo  JG

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