Interestingly enough in December of 2018 I started feeling apprehensive, pensive, resistant to moving forward. I could literally feel the uncomfortable and unfamiliar hold on my spirit. I am going to be honest, I tend to just decide what needs to be done and then I do it, accomplish it, make it happen. But due to a year filled with deciding to do things differently (take a look at my last post to get all filled in), I was purposefully trying to be more open and available to where I was supposed to be heading. However, this odd feeling started coming over me in early December. I literally felt frozen and incapacitated. It was an unfamiliar feeling and I didnt’ know quite what to do with it. I couldn’t pinpoint the source and I was having to literally make myself do daily things. I was having to force my way through apprehension and moving forward by pure willpower. As January drew closer I also started feeling an excitement, yet it was cloaked in anxious energy. It felt like something was happening, coming. Something big and above my ability to even take it all in. I was puzzled with this new feeling and truly didn’t even know how to handle it, this was new territory for me. I was choosing to embrace it and also reflect on it so that I could attempt to understand the resistant pull I was feeling in both directions.
You see, I was in a new place personally. I had just taken the entire year to really feel and deal. To choose vulnerability and allow whatever was suppose to come into my life, in (without trying to define or control it). But this, this was uncomfortable and undefinable. What I began to realize is that I was feeling a sense of fear and apprehension of the unknown. It felt like there was incredible things that were stirring and yet I had no idea what. So, I did what any overachiever would do, I drank more coffee. Ahhh, just kidding. :) I began to simply take one forward step at a time. When we are frozen with fear, hurt, anxiety, complacency, the unknown; the one thing we can do ...is make a decision to move forward. Do one thing. That’s all, just one. Then, do one more thing. Begin to choose what is the most important thing that will move me faster than all the other things or that is holding everything else up...do that next.
I still have absolutely no idea what is going to happen in 2019, but I have a really amazing feeling about it. It still scares me (because it is all unknown) but I am embracing every moment, remaining steady and strong in my vulnerability and choosing each day and every hour after I wake up to move into action. Make something happen. No matter what, if I am taking action steps each day, something is going to move forward. It might get a little messy, and that’s ok. I might fall flat on my face, but I will learn from it and bring a better version the next round. The one thing I do know, life is going to respond. Momentum at some point will take over. Instead of needing control and the ability of knowing the outcome (because let’s face it, in all reality we don’t actually have control over the outcome) let’s embrace the adventure and the unexpected. Let us rush forth in anticipation of the beautiful unfolding of what is ahead of us.
Join me! Decide to make this the most Extraordinary year of your life, yet. What is your next action? Just one. What would help you move forward in that project that you have been resisting and putting off? I want to know, so I can walk with you and stand by you. Let’s do this thing called Extraordinary Living together ! Xoxo JG